nice to meet you

hi from up here. this week i've spent lots of time with myself and washington, dc. and my lovely cousins in the evenings. i won't be all settled in my new place until this weekend, so my gracious fam has let me call their place home for the week. can i just say how strange it is not having to get up and go to work in the morning?! i thought it'd feel like a vacation, but it's definitely already sunk in that this is my new home for a while. i've done a lot of leisure walking, meditating, people watching (public transportation has so many interesting characters), craigslist bike searching, and museum caption reading for these past few days. i've been reminding myself to be patient while getting to know this new city. and so far it's been great.

<3

time

goes by so quickly! it's been almost four (crazy, busy, event-filled) months since i've been able to slow down and collect my thoughts enough to write. and blogspot changed its interface a while back and it confused me enough to deter me from posting for a little bit. haha. that, and i've just had a lot going on. it's so warm outside. something about the summer night air is so comforting and free. but also kind of suffocating sometimes.

let's see.. since my mindfulness-class-high post last time, there has been so much! i'll try to remember a few highlights.

• spontaneously drove to florida without a place to stay and ended up having a wonderful, relaxing few days on the beach with my lovely sista. and watched a lot of redbox.
• had friends come in town for fun shows towards the hustle and bustle end of the school semester.
• lots of outdoor pint drinking and brunches galore to celebrate spring and summer weather!
• my first steeplechase in nashville! saw no actual horses. just lots of nashville faces that i always adore seeing. and ate lots of miniature sandwiches.
• trip to charlotte/charleston/asheville with my most precious gems. more shows, beaches, and beer! ha.
• accepted to american university in dc! to begin the long journey of my ma and phd.
• cut my hair! definitely the defining end to a difficult chapter of my life. (hair loss, no more!)
• bonnaroo... camping and music and suntanned noses and lots of free love :) and hardly any pictures to prove it! (ugh).
• went to dc for a fun lil long weekend to visit and see what i'm in for. the city couldn't have been more enticing! i didn't want to leave!
• had a nonstop nature weekend.. paddle boarding in quarries, tubing in swimming holes, unsuccessfully sliding down rope swings, white water rafting. gonna miss that kind of accessibility.

lots of smiling from this girl for the past few months, i tell ya. probably the most prominent reason has been the acceptance into american. reference the first or second post on this blog and you might remember that getting into grad school is mainly all that's been on my mind since, well, years. it's weird getting older. and having to really think about what you want out of your life and make those big decisions. and then stick with them and be confident about them. but something clicked in my head, and i couldn't be more sure of myself at this time. everything has fallen into its right little place. i'm especially elated about what i'll be researching for my thesis and where that will take me in my career! now... if i can just find a suitable place to live. (I'M MOVING TO DC ~!@#$%^&)

more random thoughts:

• um, saw moonrise kingdom and it is the cutest little quirky movie ever and i highly recommend it.
• getting really sad to leave knoxville because i've started to love it so much.
• rufus still loves straws the most out of anything, ever.
• summer summer summer. i love the ease.
• got wen hair stuff in the mail, after being persuaded from watching the qvc/infomercial for maybe a little bit too long. still deciding if i like it or not.
• don't know what the heck mary kate is thinking with this new dude. she's the same height as his daughter. 
• I LOVE THIS GIRL'S BLOG. and i especially adore her manifesto. i feel like when i write, everything sounds like this in my head, but then it never comes out like that. on a few of her posts, i feel like she went in my brain and took my thoughts right out!
• i'm going to forecastle this weekend!! and for any of you that are aware of my obsession with my morning jacket know the excitement this is causing in my head.
• my statements are so exclamatory. i guess quixotic really is an appropriate descriptor for my thoughts.

alright, now here's lots of pictures! (cause i know that's what you really want).

phew! hopefully the interim between the next post will be much shorter :)

snowglobe

for my return after a long break, (i know you all have been biting your nails in anticipation) i think i will start with a quote from this book that i have been slowly but surely reading since the new year (thanks to my daddy), that has been lingering around in my head since i read it.

live life with loving intention.

"whether through simple observation or by more complicated human intent, our connection to the energy around us is altered, thereby affecting the outcome of any circumstance. if my intention is positive or loving, the outcome will be more beneficial than if my intention is negative or hateful. what we send out into the world has a way of coming back to us. this is why it is so important to live life with loving intention" (nuckols).

so the theme for my life lately has been to make sure everything i'm doing is intentional and positive, or at least try to make it that way. this segues idoneously into talking, once again, about my mindfulness class. i'm sure those around me lately have grown tired of hearing me babble on about how much i've loved this class, but it's about to happen again! the main points of mindfulness are to 1 be in the present moment, 2 on purpose (with intention), and 3 without judgment. it makes all the difference in the world, to everyone and everything that surrounds you, if you can choose to be right where you are on purpose. it's quite liberating too. 

for me, one of the biggest turning points in the class was the seven hour day of silence (i know, right) that i participated in a couple weekends ago. if you would have asked me a year ago if i could've done it, i might have thought you were crazy. i think it's the longest period of time in my life where i haven't uttered a single noise. and it was one of the most pleasant experiences i could've asked for! not having my phone or a watch or any obligations, except to just be. and the weather was nice so we spent part of the day outside and i noticed so much more about myself and my surroundings in that meditative state. the best way i think i've been able to describe it to friends is the snowglobe metaphor. on any normal day, in all the hecticness of life, our brains are like a snowglobe that is constantly being shaken. and when you take a few minutes to pay attention to your breathing and notice surroundings with all of your senses, it's like the snowglobe gets placed down and all the little sparkly flakes (or thoughts) settle to the bottom and everything gets a lot clearer. so that's kind of how everything has been for me lately. really clear.

phew, alright. not trying to get too cloyingly sentimental. heh. now for some updates on all the other fun stuff i've been doing!

• february has been filled with lots of red wine and constant roommate hanging-outage (i think i just made up that word). it's pretty fun having four of us + rufus in our cozy 2 bedroom villa. ha. 2's company, 3's a crowd, and 4's (well, 5 if you include felines) a party i've decided. so, yeah, i guess we have a party every night.
• spent a ridiculously fun weekend in nashville with lots of girlfriends for 2 pretty birthday ladies. it makes my heart so happy to be surrounded by friends that i can't do anything but smile and laugh around. 

• lots of other little fun days and nights out in knoxville!

• my sweet sydney came to visit knoxville spontaneously on a wednesday and thursday and that little 2 day excursion included lots of giggles, funny accents, mexican food, and martinis.

• sissssster jenna sang in a haiti benefit concert and did so well. isn't she the cutest? hard to believe we have the same genetic makeup and i can't carry a tune for the life of me. it kind of hurts my ears when i sing.
• also, involving jenna.... we went and got our first tattoos together on tuesday :) she got a fern leaf behind her ear and i got the sanskrit symbol for lotus on my forearm. we're pretty stoked about them. 

• phantogram and lykke li have been my rotating playlists as of late. especially this song today.

• i think i want a high waisted swim suit? (i'm getting excited for warmer weather. i want to hang up my jackets and coats for a few months) and these sunglasses will be mine in the near future yay!

okay, honestly, how awesome are these two? i really can't get enough.

alright, that's all! love love love. 

escape

so i've realized that there's three ways you can approach an issue. to escape it (internet, drugs, sex, alcohol),  fix it (confront and change it), or become mindful of it (just realize it's there). and i realized that i'm a bit of an escape artist. so of course this caused me to look up the definition of escapism. and this is what i got: the avoidance of reality by absorption of the mind, in entertainment, or in an imaginative situation, activity, etc.

what the heck. so i realized that whenever i have an issue, i choose to ignore it, in a way. i think this is something i really need to work on. not that i have many problems at the moment. just whenever i have something i need to think about, i would rather browse pinterest or facebook than think about it. or drink a glass of wine. so far, this mindfulness class has really made me become aware of my surroundings.... because of the mandatory (or strongly suggested) meditation homework (that i always fall asleep doing). i'm really working on everything. and i've kinda realized that everything in life is a work in progress, in itself. how existential..

i would like to proudly (even though i know pride is condemnatory quality) say that i have a very open mind to everything i'm exposed to. i know i just ended a sentence with a preposition. whatev. i haven't even listened to all the political debates/speeches going on lately. am i a bad american? i just want someone to rule our country that can make things better. and i know "better" is such a relative term. i guess i have really idealistic (or quixotic) views about things. 

so i've been exposed to a lot of great music lately. and jenny lewis' acid tongue album has quickly become a fave. and i think i've rubbed off on jenna a little bit. because she made a cover of it, a capella. my sister is a really great singer. annnd i've noticed that i describe things as "really great" a lot lately, and i feel like i need something a little more creative.

and i've been playing this song on repeat a little bit.

also, i think i might overuse emoticons.

and i think all of the "shit __ say" youtubes are hilarious.

so,

it's a little hard to find time to blog in between my newfound love for red wine and the four people + cat that we have living in our 2 bedroom 'villa'. but i'm not complaining. i guess i'd rather further my social life than my secluded blogging thought life. there have, however, been many things going on since my last post a little over a month ago.  christmas staycation was everything i could've asked for. i loved being home spending time with my kin. they're so great.

my family and i went on a mini ski trip to perfect north in indiana. there wasn't any real snow. haha. but we made the best of what they had and enjoyed snowboarding in 50 degree weather. plus, i was really just excited to wear my new green pants (do you see how much of a problem i have with wanting too many green things?). and i got to go to my first casino there! kind of a let down when i realized how i don't do well with risk vs. reward. but i think i came out even?

then new years eve was probably one of the best i've ever had. i always have these amazingly high expectations for new years and it never ends up living up to them all the way. but 2012 was a good one. i've already kinda messed up my new years resolution though so let's not talk any more about that.

now that it's a new year, i have all these new expectations for myself. i'm finally following through with all the mediation and relaxation stuff i've talked about. i'm taking a mindfulness class for the next 9 weeks! i'm probably a little overly excited, just because i've been interested in it for so long and i'm finally going to learn how to practice it. just learning how to be more aware and live right now, not yesterday or tomorrow. even after the first 'orientation' class, i could tell a difference in my reaction and attitude towards everything the next few days. eager to see how it affects my demeanor/perspective long term. the instructor sure talked about a lot of empirical evidence about the benefits, so i'm sure i won't be dissatisfied.

i liked this little post on how to be more interesting i read today on another blog i follow :)

tonight i'm happy becauseeeee:
- my new quilt/comforter and sheets are really comfortable.
- rufus is lying beside making me feel like he loves me a lot.
- i feel caught up at work.
- this song putting me to sleep.

and i have more to say, but it really is putting me to sleep.
we'll say this is to be continued.. (but i suppose all blog posts are to be continued. eh.)

carpe diem

every day for the past week i've been able to wake up and make myself take a sigh of relief. and honestly, that is a feat for me. i realized it's been at least 10 or so months since i've been able to really relax and not have any (1) stress about to-do lists or (2) anxiety or (3) deadlines or (4) hair loss or (5) relationship troubles or (6) gre studying or (7) grad school applications. it's all out of my power now. or rather, i've forced it out of my power. so today i'm thankful for (1-7) but add 'no' in front of each of them. but i've also noticed that because i don't have much to worry about, i've been panicking a tad because it's just what i'm used to. it's such wasted energy! and everything is really great right now. waking up and loving the day for what it is, and not what i need to get done.

the only thing on my mind right now is getting all of my christmas shopping done, and that's really not such an awful thing. kinda fun actually. i know everyone says this every year, but as i get older i really say it with even more disbelief: i really cannot believe it's already almost christmas again.

where have i been that i didn't know that operas came to knoxville? i've always wanted to go see an opera since i first watched pretty woman. an italian romeo and juliet is coming to the tennessee theatre in february and you can bet i'll be there! (i wish the dress code for operas was the same in knoxville, tn as it was in pretty woman and i could wear a red formal dress and diamonds... sigh... another day)

i need a good book to read that's going to make me think. ever since i watched that ken kesey documentary, i really want to read one flew over the cuckoos nest. that and kerouac's on the road. those have been on my radar for a while though, since my early psych classes. just never gotten around to reading them. let's make that happen in the next few months, krista. i'm also open to any other suggestions!

happy wed-nes-day

with christmas/winter right around the corner, i decided to customize my blog layout once again. doesn't this background just scream 'winter'?

what a busy month! i feel like i say i've been busy in every post i write. maybe that's my excuse for not posting as frequently as i would like. this month has been filled with grad school applications, thanksgiving, birthdays, and fat tire.

this weekend i was perfectly indolent and perfectly okay with that. although i did have a few things on my to-do list that i probably should've at least attempted to get done. maybe it's the colder weather that makes me want to stay in leggings and hoodies and watch movies all day and night. by the way, am i the only one who thinks that leggings can also double as pants.. as long as they're opaque and the shirt you're wearing is a little bit longer than normal?

this is my sister singing an ellie goulding cover that i love! :) makes me happy to see her singing. a few steps up from when we used to secretly listen to her singing 'i am so boo-tiful' in her room. heh heh..
i really need to get started on my christmas shopping, pronto.
i can't wait for my christmas staycation this year! that's one of the main things i miss about school- the long breaks. holidays are meant to be spent with family, so i'll be glad to be home for 10 days around the people i love (and a little snowboarding :D). (and i'm really excited about new years this year)

have i ever mentioned how much i adore diet snapple peach tea and the fact that friends is on nick@nite?