escape

so i've realized that there's three ways you can approach an issue. to escape it (internet, drugs, sex, alcohol),  fix it (confront and change it), or become mindful of it (just realize it's there). and i realized that i'm a bit of an escape artist. so of course this caused me to look up the definition of escapism. and this is what i got: the avoidance of reality by absorption of the mind, in entertainment, or in an imaginative situation, activity, etc.

what the heck. so i realized that whenever i have an issue, i choose to ignore it, in a way. i think this is something i really need to work on. not that i have many problems at the moment. just whenever i have something i need to think about, i would rather browse pinterest or facebook than think about it. or drink a glass of wine. so far, this mindfulness class has really made me become aware of my surroundings.... because of the mandatory (or strongly suggested) meditation homework (that i always fall asleep doing). i'm really working on everything. and i've kinda realized that everything in life is a work in progress, in itself. how existential..

i would like to proudly (even though i know pride is condemnatory quality) say that i have a very open mind to everything i'm exposed to. i know i just ended a sentence with a preposition. whatev. i haven't even listened to all the political debates/speeches going on lately. am i a bad american? i just want someone to rule our country that can make things better. and i know "better" is such a relative term. i guess i have really idealistic (or quixotic) views about things. 

so i've been exposed to a lot of great music lately. and jenny lewis' acid tongue album has quickly become a fave. and i think i've rubbed off on jenna a little bit. because she made a cover of it, a capella. my sister is a really great singer. annnd i've noticed that i describe things as "really great" a lot lately, and i feel like i need something a little more creative.

and i've been playing this song on repeat a little bit.

also, i think i might overuse emoticons.

and i think all of the "shit __ say" youtubes are hilarious.

so,

it's a little hard to find time to blog in between my newfound love for red wine and the four people + cat that we have living in our 2 bedroom 'villa'. but i'm not complaining. i guess i'd rather further my social life than my secluded blogging thought life. there have, however, been many things going on since my last post a little over a month ago.  christmas staycation was everything i could've asked for. i loved being home spending time with my kin. they're so great.

my family and i went on a mini ski trip to perfect north in indiana. there wasn't any real snow. haha. but we made the best of what they had and enjoyed snowboarding in 50 degree weather. plus, i was really just excited to wear my new green pants (do you see how much of a problem i have with wanting too many green things?). and i got to go to my first casino there! kind of a let down when i realized how i don't do well with risk vs. reward. but i think i came out even?

then new years eve was probably one of the best i've ever had. i always have these amazingly high expectations for new years and it never ends up living up to them all the way. but 2012 was a good one. i've already kinda messed up my new years resolution though so let's not talk any more about that.

now that it's a new year, i have all these new expectations for myself. i'm finally following through with all the mediation and relaxation stuff i've talked about. i'm taking a mindfulness class for the next 9 weeks! i'm probably a little overly excited, just because i've been interested in it for so long and i'm finally going to learn how to practice it. just learning how to be more aware and live right now, not yesterday or tomorrow. even after the first 'orientation' class, i could tell a difference in my reaction and attitude towards everything the next few days. eager to see how it affects my demeanor/perspective long term. the instructor sure talked about a lot of empirical evidence about the benefits, so i'm sure i won't be dissatisfied.

i liked this little post on how to be more interesting i read today on another blog i follow :)

tonight i'm happy becauseeeee:
- my new quilt/comforter and sheets are really comfortable.
- rufus is lying beside making me feel like he loves me a lot.
- i feel caught up at work.
- this song putting me to sleep.

and i have more to say, but it really is putting me to sleep.
we'll say this is to be continued.. (but i suppose all blog posts are to be continued. eh.)