waste, wake, change

have you ever heard that expression that death comes in 3's and 7's? i think i heard it the first time on a grey's anatomy episode. but lately, the superstitious bone in my body is starting to make me believe it's true. so many people i know have been affected by a death recently and it really hurts my heart. death is such a sad, sad thing that everyone has had to deal with in some way. but it never gets any easier to deal with when it happens. at one point in my life, the whole concept of death was really hard for me to wrap my mind around. when i said earlier in the blog that i get lost in my own mind, i wasn't kidding. there have been extreme times where i've even struggled to know what reality was, much less the thought of someone that used to be in my reality that will never be again. what is your reality? what separates your reality from your dreams? and where does death fit into all this? because, i mean, i know it's entirely illogical to believe that everything we experience is a dream. but didn't inception get to any of yall? (ha just kidding.. sort of) i know at the lowest points in my life were the times when i had the most vivid and realistic nightmares/terrors. and that's only one definition of the word 'dream'. my other dream is to become a doctor of psychology and there's absolutely nothing stopping me from making that dream a reality, right?

i know i'm starting to sound a bit insane and overly existential, so i better stop before i go all Faulkner and start writing in complete stream of consciousness.

i love this song right now.

i'm sure you've all heard foster the people by now because i learned from twitter that they played on the VMAs? this specific song, waste, was playing in the background in my car the other day and the chorus caught my attention in a big way.

and every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
and every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
and every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah

if you want to read the lyrics in their entirety, you can here. this chorus just keeps bolstering my (Buddha's) thoughts that whatever you think, you become. i wanted to wake up this morning and go to work, so i did. i have this breath and this heart that keeps beating and this day to do whatever it is that i want to do. and i'm so lucky and grateful to have realized this. my hope is that everyone i love spends their days doing exactly what they want to do.